


Ideally

by winterhats



Series: What's new? [6]
Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Fluff and Angst, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Time Skips, post-STR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 07:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: Over the years, Takane's feelings on family keep changing. Except they don't.





	Ideally

**Author's Note:**

> Absolutely no one asked for this, but do I care? I do not.
> 
> Chronologically, this should be the first fic of the series, but I like it better as some sort of prequel, so I'm going to leave it as part 6.
> 
> TW: mentions of miscarriage, vomiting. Nothing explicit, however!

Takane pulls all the covers up to her nose, wanting to be over with the day already.

Her brain throbbed in her head, and anxiety was eating her up from the inside out. How fun, really. It seems like her illness just doesn't kick in when she wouldn't mind it to.

_Just go unconscious already, please,_ is all she could tell herself, as she desperately tried to keep her mind blank. She couldn't overthink herself to sleep like usual; no, not in a moment like this. That could kill her, really.

"Hey, hey~ look at this!" Haruka's voice rings behind her, and suddenly his phone is right in front of her face. There was a picture of two cats sleeping against each other. "They're so cute!"

Maybe he didn't get the hint that she doesn't want to speak right now, given how she has quite literally submerged herself in between all their bedsheets, but alright. She humors him with a distracted, "Yeah, they are."

And that seemed to be enough for him. He came back to looking at cute animal pictures or whatever, and she came back to swim in her own misery. She sighed lowly, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against her back. Not because they're cuddling, but because their bed is so small that it _barely_ had enough space for the two of them, so they had no choice but squish together.

Did she say bed? She meant mattress. Haruka and her moved in together literally two weeks ago, and they sleep on a tiny mattress on the floor, which was pretty much the only furniture they had. Oh, should she mention she's pregnant after that? Yeah, she's pregnant.

Takane hides her face on the pillow, swallowing back a groan; she couldn't _actually_ groan, after all. Because if she did then Haruka would ask what's wrong, and then she's gonna have to be like "oh, nothing, I'm just tired" and– it's a whole thing. Whatever.

The Dan usually likes to make fun of them for how fast they've been doing things in their relationship. Once Haruka came back, it really only took one conversation before they decided to be a couple. It has only been a little over a year since then, and they've already moved in together. So, yeah, she guesses that's true.

But _hey,_ what were they supposed to do?

Living with the Dan only made things more difficult, seeing as how they were so many people squished together in one small apartment. That _and_ it was a bit awkward to be there with the four people who had lived there all along; Kido, Seto, Kano and Mary of course didn't mind, but Takane still couldn't help the constant feeling of unfulfillment.

And it also sort of felt like they were freeloaders or something– so after they saved up enough money, they managed to rent this shitty apartment they're currently in.

Well, it wasn't _shitty._ It's in a nice area, and despite how small the apartment actually is, it's still pretty decent. She thinks it's gonna look better once they have some actual furniture.

Though, Haruka _does_ keep banging his head against the door frames, since they were too low. But she guesses that's gonna be a problem he'll have to put up with until they move somewhere else. That's what he gets for being so freakishly tall.

She smiles to herself, and that instantly reminds her of how she's supposed to be feeling miserable at the moment. Hmmm, isn't it wonderful how the human brain works? Just give a smile and it'll be kind enough to send a nice "hey, you shouldn't be smiling!" reminder.

That made her mind go back to the other things. Doing stuff too quick, right–

"Are you going to sleep?" Haruka asks, promptly interrupting her thoughts again. She didn't find it in her to be mean to him, though. Not that she ever does, anyway.

"...Yeah, I am. What about you?"

"I'm not sleepy," he stated, and she felt his hands on her hair. She thought he was gonna caress her or something, but instead he gently groups it apart so it doesn't bother him on his side of the bed. Mattress. Whatever. "But I do have to wake up early tomorrow, so I suppose I'll be going to sleep anyway... God, I had so much homework~"

Oh, yeah. College. Kokonose Haruka, college student, and also a soon to be dad! Surprise! That'd be a cool way to tell him. Put your degree on hold, babe! Because you can't forget his girlfriend, dead-end job employee Enomoto Takane, soon to be a mom!

God, that's such a weird thought. Not only weird, but terrifying. All the income they had was her stupid job at answering service and Haruka's art commissions.

She's feeling nauseous again.

Suddenly the room is dark, which meant Haruka had turned off the lamp that illuminated the room. Because, yeah, they didn't have lights installed in the ceiling yet. They didn't even have the money to _buy_ the lights, so let alone install them. Seriously, they're so poor, god.

"Good night!" Haruka tells her, pressing a kiss on her ear and snuggling against her. Takane gulps.

"Good night," she says back. She wished she had the same feeling she had last night when she said those words. The feeling of everything is fine, and the feeling of living a life she could handle and looked forward to. In only one day, she lost that. It made her so mad. "I'm pregnant."

She wasn't facing him, so she had no way of knowing how he reacted. She feels him breathe against her, but he's quiet.

For a second she thinks (hopes) Haruka had fallen asleep insanely fast despite he wasn't even sleepy, but then he actually speaks up, "What?"

He didn't even move, and his voice sounded low and unsure. Takane lets out a slightly annoyed breath, angry about the way her voice cracks when she repeats, "I'm pregnant."

Again, he doesn't move, but this time he doesn't make her repeat it.

Instead, he goes, "Oh."

She waited for something else, but it didn't arrive. That was quite literally, _all_ he said. His reaction was "oh". She just told him she's pregnant and he said "oh."

"Yeah, okay. Got that out of the way, I guess," she says, angrily shoving his arms away from her. "Good night, then! Glad to know how much you care!"

She knew that was probably an unfair way to react to him, since he was probably just letting the information sink it, but she can't help herself. She's scared, irritated and confused and to be honest, she has no idea how to behave either.

"Wait, wait!" Haruka immediately becomes frenetic, and she hears him clumsily try to turn the light back on. He misses it the first two times. "Wait, are you for real?!"

"No! I'm just joking!" Takane chirps, turning over to be face to face with him. She prompts herself up with her elbows. He looked distressed. "Just wanted to set a mood before going to sleep and I thought that would do the trick!"

"Really–?"

"NO!" Takane lays her head back on the pillow. "Of course it's for real! Why would I joke about something like this!"

She covers her face with her hands, and she doesn't know if she's actually annoyed with Haruka or if she's focusing all this turmoil on being irritated with him. All she knows is that she's very, very frustrated right now.

However, out of all things, she wasn't expecting Haruka to immediately lunge at her, trapping her in a hug. Before she could even consider herself speechless, he goes, "OH MY GOD, TAKANE!"

Oh, he's_ got_ to be kidding.

She's in such shock, she doesn't react until she feels his arms loose the tightness around her.

"Oh! Oops! Probably shouldn't squeeze you like that if you're pregnant!" he said, and when she sees him grinning from ear to ear, Takane feels done with the world. He almost trembled with happiness, biting his lower lip. He repeated to himself with a tiny voice, "Oh my god, _pregnant..._"

"Haruka!" she snapped, but it didn't seem to faze him. He was still smiling like an idiot. "Are you not comprehending this!?"

"I am, I am!" he laughed and wait, is he teary eyed?! Haruka wipes his eyes, apparently unable to stop giggling. "I'm just so happy."

"You're _HAPPY?"_

She had expected him to have joined her in her misery. She figured they would sit up in bed together and would watch the wall for hours, silent as they processed the drastic change this meant in their lives. She had not expected him to be _happy._

It's Haruka, so it should make sense, but seriously? Can't he at least _try_ to be more down to earth?

Haruka's smile falls to the side once he finally realizes she doesn't share the euphoria, so he tilts his head, a confused and nervous expression invading what was left of his grin. "O – oh, Takane isn't happy?"

He seriously could not be serious right now.

As soon as he asks that question, she feels as if something had possessed her. She sits up for a second time. It feels as if her mouth is opening in slow motion, and then Takane has an episode of what could be called "word vomit."

She talks so fast it's almost incoherent. Sputtering about fears and worries, she spoke with a tight, perturbed voice. About how insane and not good this was. About how they don't have furniture, how neither of them ever even had a pet, how they're sleeping on a mattress on the floor, for crying out loud.

Overall, about how they're two broke twenty year olds in serious need of psychological attention.

Haruka watched her calmly, quietly. He listened through her long-winded concerns without interrupting, simply limiting himself with a content smile on his face, almost like it was cute to him.

That made her angry. That made her really angry.

And as such, Takane begins to raise her voice, which is when Haruka presses the brakes.

"Takane," he says, and somehow, she immediately shuts up. It makes her realize that through it all, all she wanted was for Haruka to interrupt her and say something. She goes quiet, but not without sucking in a breath filled with impotence. "I know how huge this is, as well as all those things, you know? But despite it all, it's still happening, isn't it?"

Takane blinks at him, speechless. Her voice was suddenly tiny, "_That's_ the problem."

"Yeah, I know," Haruka laughed a little. "But... hey, it's just, um, a slight change of plans! It's still something we wanted for the future, it's only happening ahead of time. That's fine! We love each other, don't we?"

Takane nods so quickly it's almost embarrassing, but she couldn't find it in her to actually feel said embarrassment, "Yeah."

"Well, as long as we have that, then it doesn't matter if we're too young or too unprepared or whatever!" he happily says, but Takane just wants to strangle him. Why does he have to be such a sappy asshole? Usually she wouldn't mind, and it's actually one of the things that makes her love him the way she does, but_ really? _Is he really playing that card right now? "Even if we're sleeping in a mattress on the floor, this baby is going to be loved, and that's what matters."

The word "baby" sends her into a crisis. Her breathing was already heavy from how quickly she had spoken, and oh boy was it getting hot under her collar. She started to breathe even heavier, short and strong puffs of air slowly taking over and drying her throat.

"Baby, huh? Baby."

She doesn't know what kind of face she's making, but it's probably not good based on how Haruka's smile immediately transforms into a grimace. He quickly takes her hands, nervously bringing them up to him, "Okay, okay– breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth."

His chest slowly puffs up with air, and despite how stupid she thinks he's being and how much she just wants to push him away, she obeys his indications instead of the murderous urge in her. As she imitates him, she notices she's trembling.

He breathes with her for a couple of seconds. She felt her spine tingle and her body slowly relax, allowing her to realize how tense it was. It felt like her mind was going blank, too.

Once it was evident she was calmer now, Haruka nods slowly at her, "Are you feeling better?"

She nods, letting out a breath through her mouth. Okay, yeah. That stupid thing might've worked.

Haruka is... kind of good at calming her down, after all.

"Okay, good," he smiles, his hands never letting go of hers. She looks down as he seemed to take his turn to speak, and uses it to say things the freaked out Takane from thirty seconds ago would've wanted him to say.

He started talking about practical things. Started to talk about getting a part time job, started to talk about their current apartment and how for the moment, they needed to focus on what they had. He started to talk about his father, and how he could maybe help, despite Takane knows how much Haruka does not want to speak to him.

Takane herself would like to avoid speaking to the asshole, but the man has cash and that's what they're gonna need if they're having a kid. Oh, god. They're having a kid? They're having a kid.

That drives her mind to her grandmother. She guesses she would lend her money if she asked; though Takane isn't sure how she'd react to these particular news. Would she be happy or just smack her? ...She has the feeling it'd be both.

And what about the Mekakushi Dan? They gotta tell that bunch of dorks, too? Will they even take it seriously?

Her head was spinning, and Haruka kept speaking, and she was hungry. She was very hungry. And sleepy, and that stupid eternal period cramp or implantation cramp or whatever the fuck her gynecologist said it was hasn't gone away yet and it's painful.

She breathes in, and interrupts Haruka to say, "How can you be so calm?"

Haruka seems a bit taken back, probably a bit confused as to why she's asking this rather than answering how far along is she. Nonetheless, he just smiles, because why wouldn't he smile, "I'm not."

She would question this, but then she realizes she knows Haruka well enough to know he's saying the truth. He just freaks out in a very special way, and not only that, but being with someone like her meant that one of them had to keep a cool head. That was usually him, obviously.

Though, it depended on the situation, because as much as Takane can freak out, she has it in her to calm down and let Haruka break down instead.

But seeing how he's the asshole who knocked her up, she guessed it was only fair this is how it's going this time around. So Takane nods, mostly to herself, "Right. Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he giggled, scooting closer to her. His voice was so soft that Takane was actually scared of looking up at him, in fear of meeting with the warmth his eyes probably conveyed.

She shrugs, "I – I don't know... Maybe I shouldn't have laughed back when you told me I should probably be on birth control."

Haruka laughs this time, shaking his head, "We've gone through worst."

That was– actually correct. Takane still tilts her head to the side, allowing herself to tease him for a second, "Have we?"

He lays back down, yawning, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a child with the love of my life than be tossed out of my body and be stuck in another dimension for two years again."

The thing about Haruka is that he isn't only good at calming her down, but he's also good at making her laugh even in the most inappropiate moments. Though, she's not sure this is an inappropiate moment at all. She's not sure what kind of moment this is supposed to be, really.

Life changing one, maybe? That sounds really stupid, but she couldn't think of another way to describe it.

She lays back down too. Her arm was on top of Haruka's, since again, the mattress was too small for them both to fit properly, but this time it doesn't feel as soul-crushing as it did ten minutes ago. Somehow, talking with Haruka made it... bearable.

Suddenly, Haruka laughs. She raises an eyebrow, "What's so funny?"

"No, nothing," he continued to giggle. "It's just that we talked about this like, how long ago? Four months ago? And we were like, yeah, we'll have kids around our thirties!"

Takane, clearly remembering the event too, snorts, "Yeah, fuck those plans, I guess."

She dares to look back at him, and just like she thought before, the warmth in his eyes meet her almost instantly. It's really weird, to be and feel this loved by someone, because in spite of it all, it's still something new to her.

But albeit overwhelming, it's also the best feeling in the world.

"Hey," he tells her, grabbing her hand under the covers. She almost trembled, as if they had begun dating yesterday. "It's gonna be okay, though. Whatever happens, we aren't gonna do a worse job than our own parents did."

She _really_ wasn't expecting him to say that. It was actually very rare for Haruka to even imply bad things about his father, choosing to either say nothing or only what was necessary if he had to be mentioned. And really, it was the same with her parents; aside from annoyed faces he didn't say much, probably not wanting to offend her or anything. So this was a lot.

Which is why she immediately cackles. Because it's not only funny, but _painfully_ true.

"Whatever we do, we won't neglect any children!" Haruka cheerfully elaborates, making Takane laugh harder. God, he knows her far too well. She knows he's saying all of this to make her react the exact way she's reacting. "They're gonna have to put up with parents who kiss each other good morning every day!"

"They– they're gonna put up with parents that care a lot but still know boundaries."

Haruka laughs, pleased that she had added something herself. Takane smiled as she watched him, the stress weighing down on her head finally lifting up a little. She snuggles closer to him, laying her head on his chest, and he welcomes her happily.

Surprisingly, she goes to sleep with the same easiness from last night. Feeling like everything is fine.

This is a life she can handle.

(...)

"Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"I honestly couldn't care less."

Haruka span around in the swivel chair, humming at her response. Takane simply drummed her fingers against her leg, laying back on the stretcher and doing her best to avoid looking at all the parenthood posters in the office.

"I think I want it to be a girl," Haruka states, and Takane rolls her eyes.

"Isn't it the same?" she crosses her arms, not being able to suppress the smile on her face. She makes a high voice, mocking her own words, "I mean, as long as it's healthy~"

Well, as dumb as it sounded, that was really how she felt. Haruka immediately nods,

"Oh, of course, yeah," he says, but still explains, "It's just, well, if it's a girl then there's gonna be more chance they look like you!"

"Is that _really_ how it works?" she questions, and Haruka simply shrugs. She sighs, "Either way, I really hope they _don't_ look like me. I don't wanna curse a child with ugliness."

"Excuse you!" he stops rolling around in the chair, stopping next to her. He crosses his arms too, but he didn't look intimidating at all because, well, he's Haruka. "How dare you call my wife ugly! She happens to be the most beautiful woman alive, thank you very much."

As he made a small "hmph" sound, Takane didn't even find it in her to become flustered. Instead, she laughed, "_Wife?_ Dude, we aren't married."

"Oh, right..." Haruka goes, apparently having forgotten that detail. Before she could be flustered for real this time, he continued, "Wait! It's true! Why aren't we married yet!"

"Um, because we're two idiots who got pregnant too early?" she tells him. Haruka starts with a "but" but she quickly cuts him off, "Look, don't whine about having to be married to have a kid, because going by that stupidly traditional logic then I shouldn't even _be_ pregnant."

Haruka looks at her, apparently not getting it, "Why not?"

She sighs. Why does he always make her explain embarrassing stuff?

"We... we're but two sinners who didn't wait until marriage."

He gasps, "Oh my god, it's true..."

Is he stupid? Why is he actually shocked?

Before Haruka could nerd out about it, the doctor finally comes back to the office, and they both freeze up. God, did she overheard the embarrassing conversation? Takane hopes not.

"Sorry for the wait," she absently tells them, and just like that, she began the procedure.

(...)

They manage to buy a fridge, though it's an used one and Takane wants to hope they'll buy an actually good, store new fridge whenever they can. One white and shiny where they can put up the ultrasound picture. But this cheap and old one will do for now, she guesses.

It was still too early to know the gender, the doctor told them. The doctor also looked at them with what seemed like pity and asked how old they are, to which Takane responded they were fifty three years old; the doctor frowned at her, and Haruka almost cried in his attempt of containing his laughter.

"Haruka, I swear to god, we aren't naming the baby Ene."

"Why not?" he pouted, and Takane simply groaned. She was tired of explaining this; she simply continued getting dressed for work, but as it was a weekend, Haruka got to stay at home and simply dedicate his morning to being silly. "It's such a cool name! And then, they can be like, "who am I named after?" and we'll say, "after the cutest girl in the galaxy.""

"Wow, smooth," Takane can't help laughing, "Still, it's not happening. Literally everyone but you call me Ene, it'd be super weird."

"Awww," he poked her, so Takane quickly tried slapping his hand away. He sticks his tongue out at her, playfully. "But then we can have another kid and name them Konoha, and they'll be Konoha and Ene."

"Ene and Konoha, you mean."

"Konoha and Ene sounds better."

"Yeah, right," as she brushed her hair, she stole a glance of Haruka still in bed before shifting her attention to the carpeted floor. Sighing, she simply forces the words out, trying to sound as casual as possible, "...We haven't even had the first one and you're already thinking of having a second one?"

"Hey, it'd be too lonely to be an only child," Haruka quickly says. "We'd know!"

Takane opens her mouth to discuss, but finds no arguments in her favor. She actually agreed with him. She runs her fingers through her hair to make sure it's properly untangled, awkwardly clearing her throat, "I – I guess two would be okay."

She avoids looking at him, but she could practically hear Haruka grinning.

Her current reality is weird, really, and so different from everything she'd envisioned her life to be only a few years ago. But somehow, she didn't want it to be any other way.

It made her happy and giddy in the most disgusting and ridiculous way. She found herself constantly touching her stomach and even more clingy to Haruka than the usual, which was all very embarrassing in itself. But really, she couldn't help the happiness and avidity she felt on a daily basis now.

She was already happy before, to be honest. She didn't understand how this highly stressing and terrifying addition was making her so much happier, though.

"Hey, Enomoto-san?" a co-worker calls out for her, leaning back in her chair. Takane looks at her with a smile, which is responded with another one. "You seem in a very good mood lately, is there a reason why?"

Takane shakes her head, "No, not really."

"Huuh?" the girl seemed a little disappointed, but her smile didn't budge. "Weird~ I swear, you're glowing lately!"

(...)

They arrive home from the hospital at around four in the morning, both as silent as they have been since waking up earlier in the night.

Takane stands at the entrance, and the only sound were the keys as Haruka slowly closed the door behind them. He stands next to her when he's done, but he doesn't say anything either. It made her anxious, though she couldn't bring herself to express it through anger. ...Or anything, really.

"We need to change the bedsheets," is all she can bring herself to say. "They– they're all bloody."

She sees Haruka nod out of the corner of her eye, but he doesn't move. Neither does she, anyway. They both simply stared at the floor, at a loss of words, the exact way she had imagined they would act when she told him she was pregnant. How ironic that's how it turns out to be the moment they found out it was over.

Haruka speaks up, but there's no particular feeling in his voice. It's only empty, and uncharacteristically emotionless, "You never even felt a kick."

"I didn't," she answers in the same tone. She scrunches up her nose, shrugging to herself, "I mean– maybe it's for the best."

She sees Haruka nod again. She nodded too.

Her voice became smaller, "We weren't even ready, anyways."

"Yeah," he said, his voice as high as hers. "I'm– My illness. It was passed down from my mom."

That was sudden, and they weren't news to her, but Takane closes her eyes upon realizing this was a concern he had since the beginning, and simply chose not to share it. Since she doesn't say anything, Haruka adds,

"Who's to say it won't happen again."

He practically whispers it, as if he didn't want her to hear. Takane chokes out a breath, deciding to share something of the same background, "And I– I could've passed out with the baby in arms and all, too. I wouldn't have been able to be left alone with a kid."

He sniffs, "I guess."

"We're..." her voice broke, but she didn't have the strength or willpower to push back her tears. "We're off the hook, then."

She breaks down the second she finishes speaking, and Haruka follows by.

* * *

They decided they wouldn't have kids.

It probably wasn't for them, anyway. She was sick, he was born with an hereditary life threatening illness, and neither had a good parental figure to guide them through raising an actual child. It just wasn't a good idea.

Having adored to be pregnant during the short period she was is a secret Takane's going to take to the grave. One she's not ever going to think about, she's decided, during those days when she and Haruka couldn't stop crying over the loss.

And really, it works. She doesn't really think about it anymore. Which is why, almost six years later, Takane looks at her doctor with a twitchy smile, "Sorry?"

He looks up from his clipboard, over his glasses, in such a condescending way that it made her want to punch him, "You passed out. Fell on your arm. Sprained wrist."

Takane angrily looked at her splint. Yeah, nothing new there, "No. What did you say before that, I mean."

"...Congratulations on the baby?"

Takane doesn't have time to answer, because the next thing she sees is Haruka rushing in behind a nurse. He smiles brightly when he sees her, but his concern was still visible in his face, "Takane!"

She feels like she might've just peed herself. She didn't, but oh boy did she have to press her legs together. The doctor, at least noticing the panic in her face, gestures that he has a zipped mouth.

By the moment Haruka's standing in front of her, she finally realizes he's all suited up. She can't even tell him he looks good or anything, she's too focused on other things, and all she can blurt out is, "What time is it. Why are you all dressed up."

"It's four," he told her. "Everyone's already at the venue getting everything ready."

"Oh, god," she holds on her head, "Doesn't my illness choose the funniest moments to kick in."

"Yeah..." Haruka hums in agreement, taking her good hand to help her up. He does grab her left one too though, holding it gently, "Oh, there it goes the writing hand."

He leans down before she could say anything, pressing a soft kiss on the knuckles of her left hand, just above where the splint started. She sighs in embarrassment when the nurse and doctor smile.

Haruka guides her in a way that almost freaked her out. Did he hear what the doctor told her, or is he just a dumb nerd trying to help her walk because she has a sprained wrist?

Honestly, she wouldn't be surprised.

Thankfully, it seems to be the second option. He even opens the car door for her, and normally, she'd roll her eyes or something, but this time she can't bring herself to.

She simply plomps down on the passenger seat, nodding absently when Haruka reminds her to put her seatbelt on.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Haruka kept asking, and Takane could only sigh as she looked out the car window.

She felt nauseous and every bad feeling was currently focusing on her stomach, so no, she wasn't okay.

"I'm alright," she lies, clenching her fist on her belly. Despite they were inside the car, her breathing was nervous and accelerated like she had ran. Her wrist kind of hurt too, but the weight of what the doctor had told her hurt a little more.

She lets out a breath. Okay then.

"Hey, um," Haruka tries again. "At least your splint matches with your dress!"

Ah, he really thinks she's upset because she got a sprained wrist. She looks down at it; the splint is dark blue, yeah, just like her dress. She decides it'd be better for him to believe that is actually what's making her weird, so she says, "Yup..."

She couldn't think about this now. She had to focus on Seto and Mary and how wonderful today is. It's their wedding, hey! They pulled a situation like Haruka and Takane's own and decided to get married at twenty two. Yeah, that's what today's about. She can just deal with... _this_ tomorrow.

Takane steals a glance of Haruka, and he looks back at her, flashing her a smile. She quickly looks away.

"Are you sure–"

"Yes, I'm sure I'm alright," she quickly says. "Just staring at you because you're cute all suited up. Now shut up."

She says that partly because it's true and partly because she wants him to stop asking her if she's okay. She can practically hear Haruka smile as he says "oh, thank you~".

Well, a lot happened in five years, so it really was different this time.

Different as in, better jobs. Different as in, better apartment (and furniture!). Different as in, they have a car, they're married– honestly, it seemed like the only normal next step for the perfect conventional couple.

Except that's really stupid. And they've already decided they wouldn't do this despite they want to because it was for the best. So this is absolutely ridiculous.

This is fine. This is really fine.

She's just not gonna think about it anymore. She is not gonna think about it.

They stop at a red light, and when Takane looks out of the window she sees a baby store displaying ridiculously tiny clothes. Her eyes bolt away from that spot. Oh, god, she felt really sick.

She spends the entire wedding getting asked "oh, Ene, what happened to your wrist?"

(...)

When she found out the first time, it was during the morning.

She spent the entire day stressing over it, and ultimately ended up telling Haruka in the night of that same day. Which was really the best thing she could've done, because he didn't only calm her down, but once it was shared with him it suddenly felt like they were good news rather than bad news. At least that's how she remembers it, despite it's been so long already.

Honestly, she remembers everything so well. As many people, Takane's no exception to the "remembering only the bad parts out of a situation" illness, but for some reason it didn't apply here. She guessed that it was because remembering all the good things made the bad thing worse.

This time, however–

"Takane?" Haruka's nervous voice rang from the other side of the door after a knock, but Takane can't answer. She's too busy gagging in front of the toilet. "Uuum, you've been in there for a while now, is everything alright?"

She pushes her bangs out of her face, sighing in frustration. Honestly, no matter how many times she tells him, Haruka just doesn't understand that_ that_ is the most mortifying thing to tell someone who's been in the bathroom for too long.

Takane flushes the toilet despite there was nothing in it, but she barely had energy to get up from the floor. Her head was spinning, her stomach was spinning, the room was spinning. It felt as if her blood pressure had dropped.

God, morning sickness is just _that_ bastard, huh? She didn't get it at all the first time around. In fact, this time it scared her, but apparently it was normal. That's what the stupid doctor said, anyway. She even said it was a good sign on the pregnancy, but Takane won't take any chances. She's not telling Haruka yet.

So, clearing her throat, Takane speaks up, "I'm okay. Just... constipated."

She shakes her head to herself. Jesus. She'd rather have him think that, though.

She hears him go "Oh, I see!" very seriously, like she had trusted him with a very important secret, "Then, do you need me to bring you anything?"

Takane has to put actual effort in pushing back a groan; if she were _actually_ stuck sitting on the toilet right now, she'd want to kill him for still insisting in standing behind the door. Seriously, who does that?

"No. I'm fine."

Except she wasn't, and it felt like her dinner was still stirring in her stomach– she retched.

Just when she thought Haruka had finally gone away, there's a second knock on the door, but this time it was more urgent and less gentle. Takane was about to be worried, but then she hears,

"Yo, Takane, you've been in there forever, man," Shintaro's voice loudly complained, and she furrowed her brows. "I need to pee!"

"Go to _your own house then,_" Takane growls. She's not getting kicked out of her own bathroom. "Oh, right, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!"

"HARSH!"

To make things worse, Shintaro's been freeloading in their apartment lately. He's depressed, though that was left for Haruka and Takane to actually figure out. He hasn't cooperated to share what was actually wrong; all they knew was that he kept skipping work and he eventually got fired because of it, and with no money to pay for it, he lost his apartment.

He _could've_ gone back to his mother's house, or stayed with his sister, but no, he decided to stink up Haruka and Takane's couch instead. And it sucks, because he knows neither of them is gonna close the door on him.

Not that Takane doesn't want to be there for her friend or anything, but there are a few things that makes Shintaro's stay kind of annoying.

For one, he acts entitled to everything. No, he doesn't pay rent, and no, he doesn't do a single chore. But oh boy, does he complain when _they_ haven't done the dishes or taken out the trash.

He isn't even looking for a job and also, he doesn't shower. He is greasy and smelly, and stinks up the entire apartment. Haruka and Takane mourn the loss of their nice couch everyday. It used to be a nice light blue; now it's _dark_ blue.

And secondly, Takane got pregnant with Haruka's child five years after they went through a miscarriage that traumatized them to the point of deciding to not have children– and Shintaro is here. Of course, it's not like he _knew,_ but even if he did Takane's sure there wouldn't be a difference.

All in all, Takane wants to strangle him.

She sighed, getting on her knees again to lean towards the toilet. Seriously, why have kids if they already have Shintaro to take care of?

"Shintaro-kun, leave her alone. She's having tummy troubles."

Takane felt her face heat up when she hears Haruka. One thing was to tell her husband she's got an upset stomach, but another thing is telling their friend. That's just embarrassing. And her stomach's not even upset for real! Well, not in_ that_ sense at least.

"Haruka, he doesn't _need to know."_

"Sorry!" Haruka offered. "I just don't want him to bother you."

"You're _both_ bothering me–" she cuts herself off with a gag, and immediately vomits. Oh,_ finally._ She instantly feels relief now that she managed to do it.

She's too distracted with the new found comfort to notice Shintaro nor Haruka had spoken again, so she's a little taken back when she hears Shintaro's voice, "Hey, that sounded a lot like vomiting."

He spoke in a normal voice, like it was a comment for Haruka rather than her. Takane just rolls her eyes, and forces herself up to go rinse, but soon Haruka's worried voice is back, "OH MY GOD, TAKANE! Is it that bad!? Are you puking now!? Do you need me to go in to hold your hair!?"

Oh, they were really_ not_ going away, were they?

Very well. It seemed like she had no choice.

Takane breathes in, as if to savor the last drop of her dignity before saying, "That wasn't vomiting."

In a heartbeat, Haruka and Shintaro answer in unison, "GOT IT."

And then she heard their steps walking away.

There's nothing worse than being stuck on a toilet. She guessed they could understand that much and leave her the fuck alone, even if that meant she had to make them believe dinner last night did a number on her intestines.

Takane sighed, relieved, and flushed the toilet again. She wasn't getting out of here for a few more minutes; she was too embarrassed to face them after all that.

She looks at her reflection in the mirror, and blinks at it. The mirror is quite big, and covers up a big part of the wall, so she could see herself from the waist up in it. She stands on her tiptoes to be able to properly see her stomach.

It was still flat, like always. Back then, when she'd gotten pregnant for the first time, she _barely_ showed at all. It really was just a tiny pouch. Haruka was overjoyed, though. Those were times in which she slept with Haruka's hand on her stomach every night. She shakes her head when she catches herself smiling at the memory, though.

What's she thinking? That's not gonna happen again.

She nods to herself in the mirror. Yeah. It might be a little unfair, but– she can't break his heart like that again. She _won't_ break his heart like that again.

Despite her thoughts, she suddenly finds herself pulling up her shirt just a little, getting on her side to see her stomach again. She pulls it back down in embarrassment after noticing what she was doing.

Seriously, stop it! How ridiculous! She was acting just like she did five years ago, and she can't, because she's not getting her hopes up for nothing this time! It's probably nothing again, so she's going to _act_ like it.

Her body is a stupid piece of junk. It certainly can't manage something like pregnancy, that was left _very_ clear. It was really only a matter of time before it all happened again. She was doing Haruka a favor by not telling him.

_It's decided, then,_ she tells herself. _I'm not telling him._

Bringing a hand up to her face, Takane swallows back a sob.

This is ridiculous. Why is she crying now?

Is there any other pregnancy symptom that wants to come her way now that she's alone in the bathroom? Overly sensitive and nausea, check! Ah, she wonders if weird food cravings are next~ For fuck's sake. It's like she's living in a terrible sitcom or something.

But no matter how much she made fun of herself, she couldn't stop crying.

When she finally gets out of the bathroom, Haruka welcomes her with a cup of ginger tea. "For your constipation!" he says.

(...)

Days keep passing by, and sometimes, she found herself not thinking of it.

It had to do with her own effort to avoid the subject in her mind, and how work and other things seemed more important at the moment, but over all, she guessed she was doing a pretty good job. Now, all she has to do was wait until she started bleeding again.

Everytime she thought of that, however, she shivered.

The biggest problem, she realized, is Haruka being over attentive.

Despite how much she had told herself she was gonna act like it was nothing, she noticed her change of habits when he tells her, "You haven't been drinking coffee lately."

And it was true, she hadn't. That was usually her go-to beverage, and now she completely stopped drinking it. She had simply shrugged, saying, "Just a change of pace, I guess."

Haruka smiles and shrugs it off. The next morning she attempts to drink coffee, to show herself just how much she cares, but she can't bring herself to.

(...)

Takane scrolled down on her phone, shivering slightly when the cold gel is smeared on her stomach.

"Strong heart!" her doctor happily announced, though Takane didn't look away from her phone. She only hummed. "Do you, um, wanna take a look?"

Takane scrunches up her nose. She had been trying to ignore the sound of the heartbeat coming from the machine, but she guessed she could only do that for so long.

She notices she hasn't been reading any of the posts she's been scrolling past, so she supposes that her plan to sit out of her own ultrasound scan wasn't working. Takane sighed before putting her phone down, and looks at the monitor. Luckily, there were only black and white smudges showed on it, so it wasn't like she was going to see a baby shape and burst into tears.

The doctor, happy with the cooperation despite the clear reluctance, points at the monitor and uses her finger to circle around one of the smudges, "That's the baby, nineteen weeks in!"

The image swirled and was completely unclear, but it still made Takane bite the inside of her cheek. Honestly, she didn't know how to feel. She just wanted to wipe off that gel from her stomach and leave.

So, not sure how she should react, Takane only offers a nod. It obviously throws off the doctor, because she smiles awkwardly. She starts to point clear parts of the baby so she could actually tell things apart, but Takane wouldn't say she was paying attention.

"Do you want to know the sex?"

However, when the lady drops that question, Takane can't help herself when out of a panic, she yells, "_FUCK_ NO!"

The doctor jumps in her seat, clearly astonished with her loud answer. Takane blinks at her, as the reality of what she's just done settled in. She cleared her throat, feeling her face heat up,

"I – I _mean,_" Takane tries, but she's not sure she can salvage the situation. The doctor kept looking at her like she was insane, and really, she couldn't blame her. "No, thank you."

"A – alright...! It'll be a surprise, then!"

God, this woman is just doing her job and she gets demented patients yelling at her. Way to go, crazy ass.

But the question was just a huge slap on the face; Takane didn't even know she was nineteen weeks in. Last time she never got asked if she wanted to know the sex; in fact, _they_ asked and were told it was too early to know. She breathed in, and forces out a question, "...Would you consider I'm showing already?"

"Oh, definitely," the doctor answers instantly, with no hesitation. "Some people don't start showing until much, much later! You're lucky you already have a cute and tiny bump! It's gonna be one big baby! You gotta eat well, okay? Especially breakfast."

"Lucky," Takane repeats robotically, ignoring most of what she said. Her doctor had seemed cheerful to give those news, after all, like Takane had been wanting a positive answer and she was happy to give one to her.

So when she realizes she wasn't, the woman clears her throat, and says, "O – okay! Well, maybe in the next check up, you can bring someone along? A family member, a friend– it doesn't have to be a partner! Really, the experience is so much more beautiful when there's a loved one around."

Oh, great. This lady really believed she didn't have a co-parent for this. Well, it's not like Takane had done anything to make it look like she did. Showing up to the check up by herself, acting uninterested all along, looking terrified when finding out she's showing...

She sighed, her mind going back to Haruka.

The other night, he turned over to hug her and put his hand on her stomach. It almost made her bolt out of bed, and every second in which his hand continued to rest there, Takane felt herself sweat cold. She thought he was going to turn her over at any second and tell her he knew everything, that she was busted.

Of course that didn't happen. He was probably thinking of how yummy dinner had been or something, but she got so freaked out that she actually grabbed his hand and moved it; too bad that for some reason her first instinct was to move it up, where her breasts are. She had immediately started to mentally curse at herself.

Because he was obviously going to misunderstand it, and she wasn't in the mood for sex. But then Haruka moved his hand back down and said, "Would love to, but we have to wake up early tomorrow..."

The bastard.

Anyhow, she had to deal with his hand on her belly for about an hour until he actually fell asleep. She's not sure how she even survived the anxiety. And now this doctor is telling her she's _showing?_ This happened like three nights ago! How wouldn't Haruka be able to tell?! Is he that dumb!?

However, since reality was still happening, Takane could only bring herself to nod at the doctor's suggestion. She didn't have it in her to argue or anything, and really, this was just a major wake up call.

About how it could be that... maybe, perhaps,_ possibly–_ she should tell Haruka already.

"And like, now I'm stuck. I have no idea what to do," Takane said, "I have this stupid sonogram now, and I have no idea what to do with it. The first one we had, we put it in the fridge– I'm guessing this one is gonna be buried in a drawer or something..."

_Because for some reason, I can't bring myself to throw it away,_ she thinks, but doesn't say. Takane lets out a shaky sigh, crouching down and putting a hand on the ground,

"I just..." she paused, not finding the right words to express her feelings. When does she ever, though. "H – how would he even react? He was so happy the first time. Is he gonna be happy again? Or is he gonna be fucking terrified like me?

"Like, the first time I was also terrified, but he made things so much better. Maybe, if I tell him, he'll make things better again? But I don't think so. I don't think he can fix my fear. I'm just so scared to allow myself to think everything's gonna go okay this time, because I don't wanna get my or his hopes up and then end up like last time. And by talking about it with him, I feel like I'm going to jinx it."

She doesn't get an answer, but it's not like she was expecting one. It'd be scary if she got one. Takane carries on,

"I don't even know how to tell him... I mean, it shouldn't be that hard. I only have to say some stupid words. But like, it's so difficult. I've tried so many times, too. It's like... well, you know this feeling, when you want to say something, and you're like "okay, I'll say it," but it just... _doesn't_ come out of your mouth? Like you end up swallowing all the words. It's like they get stuck in your throat, and it's kinda like it gets swollen by all the unsaid words, and even like that, nothing comes out?

"Metaphorically, of course. Not like you actually get your throat swollen. It's more like... swollen with _air,_ you know what I mean? Am I being clear? I don't think I'm explaining myself right."

Carefully carved and neatly inscripted into the stone, Ayano's name is all that stares back at Takane as she found no more strength to continue rambling. She looks down at the three bouquet of flowers at the grave, one having been courtesy of herself, whereas the other two must've been from her siblings.

Takane looked away from her old friend's headstone to the rest of the hundreds of graves in the burial ground. It didn't help.

"I bet you would've been excited to hear these news, though. You'd be like "yay, I'm gonna be an aunt!" or something silly like that," Takane laughed, blinking her tears away. "Right, Ayano-chan?"

The sonogram was kept in the drawer of her nightstand, and it's closed, so no one can see it but Takane still can't get her eyes off of it. She watched the wood carefully, like she wanted to set it on fire with her eyes.

She blinks, and it stings when she does so. God, her eyes were so dry. Just for how long has she been staring at her stupid nightstand? She was lying on her side, with her hands tucked under her head, and she bites her lip.

"Is something the matter?" Haruka suddenly speaks up, startling her. He was in bed too, but he was sitting up and had been reading a comic or something, so when she turns over, he looks down at her.

"No," she forces a smile, though she's sure it looked weird. "Why do you ask?"

"You just seem off," he says. Takane gulps, because Haruka's eyes were staring right into hers, and it felt as if he could read her mind. This wasn't good. "You've been making lots of frustration noises over there."

Really? She has? Dammit, why is she so stupid?

"Well, I'm fine," she replies, though she knew he wasn't convinced. "I'm as normal as ever."

Haruka lets out a small laugh, and shrugs. He shifts his attention back to his book, "Well, my mistake then."

Obviously, he didn't believe her. They both knew that, but she guessed he was going to wait until she spilled it out. Too bad that was too damn hard.

Takane stares at him for a second, and then turns over to her original position, as if to go back to staring at her nightstand. She closed her eyes, and thought back to her happiness. That being, Haruka.

She thinks back to when they actually managed to have a conversation about children without crying, in which they layed out all the reasons why they shouldn't have any, not even adopted, and why their decision against it was ultimately good. It was reasonable, and they communicated well and they didn't cry. But when said conversation ended, Haruka had said, "It would've been fun, though," and these last few days that phrase has been haunting her, despite he said it so long ago.

Takane wishes she didn't remember what she had answered, but she had said yes. It would've been fun.

She lets out a breath, probably adding to the frustration noises she's been apparently making. She opens her mouth, and at first, nothing comes out of it. Her throat gets swollen with air, just like she had described to Ayano in the afternoon. She barely has time to process when she does speak, though, "I'm pregnant."

It felt like such a déjà vu, really. When she said that the first time, she was in this exact position, with her back turned on him, making her unable to see his expressions. Their room is nice, and it's filled with stuff about their interests and actual furniture, while they didn't even have a bed in the past.

It was so different, but it was so much more terrifying than it had been back then. When she told him, Haruka cheered her up. He helped her look at the bright side, filled her with hope and excitement, and taught her to look forward to the situation. She wonders if he'll be able to do that now. She wonders if he's healed.

She certainly hasn't, after all.

However, what Haruka says is something she wasn't expecting to hear, "I know."

Takane turns around in an instant, and it takes him a second to actually look back at her. He was making a face that she could only describe as weird.

"You..." she braces herself up with her elbows, before deciding it was probably easier to sit up. "You _knew?_ For how long!?"

"It's a bit hard to miss if we're married and live together," Haruka smiles awkwardly. "I think it's been... hmmm... maybe a month since I first thought of it?"

Takane stares dumbfounded, and once it was obvious she wasn't going to answer, Haruka clears his throat and continues speaking, as if that's gonna get her out of the shock,

"You've been changing some of your habits, not to mention you haven't had your period in a while now. And also," he looks away again, gloomily. "You're showing a little bit."

Well, she's apparently fucking showing, yeah. That was clear enough.

He came back to reading, and it made Takane's blood boil. Why was he acting so uninterested?

"How far along are you, anyway?" he asked, so casually that she felt actual tears in her eyes. She pushes them back, and breathes out,

"You _KNEW?"_ she repeats, angrily this time. When she gets this tone, Haruka gets nervous, and always tries to explain himself over whatever is making her mad at the moment. But right now he doesn't.

"Yes," Haruka looks at her, and the indifference in his face doesn't budge. "I knew."

Takane furrows her brows, feeling all the frustration and stress she had bottled up mix together into anger, "Then why the fuck didn't you say anything?!"

"I thought we just weren't going to talk about it?" Haruka shrugs. She looks at him like he's insane; when had they left _anything_ unsaid? Sure, she didn't tell him about this until now, but _hey,_ she has her reasons! Haruka finally shows emotion, as he continued to speak with a melancholic face, "I thought– I thought we'd finally talk about it whenever you had the ultrasound scan or something."

He flattened out the corner of a page of the book, and Takane felt all the anger drain out from her as fast as it came. And then, all there was left was guilt.

"I – I had that today."

Haruka looks at her, genuinely surprised, and Takane wanted to hide herself under the covers. Shoot, she thought that he said that because he somehow found out she went.

"You did?" he looks at her with laser-like focus, like he was expecting (hoping) she'd say it wasn't true. So Takane can only look away, grabbing tightly on the bedspread, and since her reaction to the question seemed to be enough of an answer, Haruka quietly goes, "Oh."

He sounded as heartbroken as the time he said "it would've been fun." It made her weak. So, quietly, she reaches over the nightstand to open the drawer and take the picture out. As much as Haruka tried to hide his smile when he takes it to see it for himself, Takane caught it. She doesn't mention it, though.

"What did the doctor tell you, then?"

Takane lets out a breath, the memories from the afternoon flying back to her mind. She shrugged a little as she started to recite, "That, um... I had to eat well? Because? It's a big baby or something?"

It felt so weird to say that stuff out loud, especially for Haruka to hear. She's kept this to herself for so long that it seemed surreal that he knew already. However, from his part, he only nodded and whispered, "Okay..."

"And I'm nineteen weeks in, apparently. I don't know how much that's in months," she adds. Seriously, this is so awkward. As they moved on to talk about this, it felt like they were leaving behind the massive elephant in the room that was the fact she wanted to hide this from him. "And the doctor knows the sex. I don't, though..."

"I see," Haruka nodded, smiling, but it was so forced it hurt to see. He continued to look at the picture, and sighed, "Nineteen weeks is... over four months, Takane."

Takane grimaced, "O – oh."

That sounded like a lot. She somehow didn't realize how much time it actually was from hearing the number with weeks.

He looked at her, and this time he doesn't try to hide his heartbreak, "For how long have you known?"

"...Remember when I sprained my wrist?"

"Yeah," Haruka looked a little surprised. "On the day of Seto and Mary's wedding."

She knows he's saying it because the wedding was like three months ago, so that meant he knows just for how long she's been hiding it. She bit her lip. "I got the news like, two seconds before you showed up."

Judging by the way things had been going so far, Takane thought they just wouldn't talk about it, but Haruka seemed unable to keep it to himself.

"Takane," he starts, and she hums nervously. He looked at her, serious and expectantly. His entire expression was like a big plead for her to be honest in her answer, "For how long were you planning to hide it?"

Once again, Takane answers with silence. Because really, not even she had the answer to that. Or– well, she _did,_ but it was difficult to say out loud. It was so horrible that even someone like Haruka is going to get mad at her.

She guessed Haruka would get up and try to spend a minute for himself, or simply turn off the lamp and turn over and go to sleep. She would deserve that. What she tried to do was selfish and awful.

That's why she's surprised when instead, Haruka puts his hand over hers, squeezing it slightly. Takane looks at him; he seems apprehensive, but not upset with her.

"You... you aren't mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

The guilt made her stomach turn, and the weight of what she had planned to do was finally clearing up in her mind. Was she really planning to, in the case of another miscarriage, simply deal with it by herself and never let Haruka know it happened? Was she really going to do that?

A part of her wants to say that no, there's no way she would've gone through with not telling him in case it happened again. But the other part of her, the one that says the truth, knew that wasn't the case. She would've done it. The only reason she hasn't done it is because she _hasn't_ had a miscarriage again.

...Yet, anyways. But at this point, when the doctor's asking if she wants to know the sex and stuff, Takane's not even sure it's gonna happen. That's why she ended up telling him.

"Because I was– if_ it_ happened again, I would've hidden it forever," Takane says. "Isn't that despicable of me?"

Haruka shakes his head, almost offended with the suggestion, "Wh– Takane, of course not. If anything, I'm the despicable one here."

It'd be an understatement to say that declaration surprised her. Up until now he's acted so collected, so calm. Like he knew how they were going to handle the situation, and it was whatever that she hadn't told him about it until now. But now his voice broke, and Takane wasn't sure why.

Before she can ask though, Haruka carries on,

"For you to go to that point– it means you knew I wouldn't have been able to comfort you. It means that the first time I _wasn't_ able to comfort you," he says, looking away. He brings his free hand to his face, to cover his mouth. His next words sound muffled, "Of course not. I didn't even try, did I?"

He takes his hand away from her, and ends up covering his entire face. Takane immediately panics, "Wa – wait! That's not it!"

She goes blank when he chokes out a sob. Oh, no. Oh, god no.

Ah, well, this certainly went from zero to a hundred, and from a hundred to a thousand.

"I – I'm _so_ sorry," he weeps, and normally, Takane would've tried to comfort him by now, but she felt completely frozen. "A – and I'm doing it again...! Just crying instead of being there for you...!"

"Ha – Haruka!" she finally reacts, quickly pushing away her covers to kneel on the mattress instead, so she could be more at Haruka's height. She puts her hands on his shoulder, "That's not– that's not it– you had and _have _the right to be upset too, y – you know!?"

"I know I do, but..." he says, taking his hands away from his face. His nose was pink, and his eyes were teary. To see him like this felt like walking on a tight rope; any second now, she'd break down as well. And that won't be fun, because if she cries, he'll continue to cry, and it just _won't_ stop. "There's something you went through that I'm never going to be able to understand. You had it worse, and... and that was what affected me the most. But I shouldn't have showed it. No matter how much it broke me what happened to us, _what happened to you,_ I should've sucked it up to be there for you."

Takane's immediate first instinct is to argue with him, but she finds nothing in her favor. Genuinely, she just did not know what to say. Haruka continued,

"I'm– I'm _so,_ so sorry for that. I don't blame you for keeping it from me. I clearly made things worse back then, acting the way I did," he speaks with genuine disgust in himself, which is a behaviour Takane usually calls out and puts an end to, but then again, she keeps finding herself speechless. He turns to her, his face as serious as his tone. "So of course I'm not mad at you. How are _you_ not mad at _me?"_

His words felt like bricks were being dropped on her head, slowly and one after another. She flexed her fingers on her thighs, digging half moons on her skin, finding no words to argue back.

Because Haruka... Haruka was actually right.

She _did_ have it worse. And the way he acted _was_ what ultimately made her make this decision. Not because of the reason he thought, but still.

Of course, Takane doesn't agree with him when he says he should've sucked it up and whatever. It was just an awful situation that was going to be shit for the both of them, it just couldn't be helped, but yes, it _was_ true that she didn't want to tell him so he wouldn't have to go through the same heartbreak again.

But what if– deep down, she actually didn't want to tell him because _she_ wouldn't be able to handle his heartbreak again?

Takane breathes in. She looks over to the sonogram now lying on his lap, and she closes her eyes, allowing herself to do it. Allowing herself to cry. Haruka immediately aids her.

He hugs her, but she doesn't hug him back, not really. She only clings on his chest, sobbing on the fabric of his shirt. She wanted to answer his question, to tell him she'd never be mad at him for something like this, but she couldn't get the words out, no matter how much she meant them. All she could do was wail.

Haruka apologizes again, and kisses the top of her head. Takane doesn't stop crying.

The next morning, Takane goes into the kitchen to find the table with what looked like a breakfast buffet from some fancy hotel. She immediately panics, but before she can ask anything about it, Haruka turns around from the stove,

"Good morning!" he exclaims, just like he did every morning. That didn't even begin to answer all of her questions.

"What," she only answers, as Haruka walked over her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. He walked her over the table, pulling up the chair for her to sit her down. She's too shocked to withstand. "What, what, what, what. _What."_

"_I _read on the internet," Haruka starts, and Takane already frowns. "About_ all_ the things pregnant women need to eat for breakfast! So I prepared a breakfast based on that! And _you_ mentioned the doctor said you needed to be well fed, so that's what I'm doing! I'm making sure my wife is well fed!"

She simply stares. This is... so incredibly expected of him.

Takane also felt insanely thankful of the situation, in a way. They cried themselves to sleep last night, so it was pretty relieving to see Haruka was intending to go through this in the best way possible.

However, that's just what he did last time. She doesn't want that.

Because last time, they were both happy and stupid like he's being right now, and when it was over, moments like these were the ones that were ruined forever.

But Haruka was smiling, practically with stars flying around him and all, and Takane wanted to say she didn't have the heart to say something to ruin the mood. But she did.

"This is– really sweet of you, Haruka," she begins, and Haruka looked at her with massive heart eyes. God, he really made it difficult. She looked away, "But I don't want you to get your hopes up, okay?"

"What do you mean?" he asks, and without thinking, Takane shoots,

"What else would I mean?"

She looks down at the cup placed in front of her. God, is this a smoothie? At what time did he wake up to prepare all of this? She didn't even know they had this much food to make! Did he do groceries, too?

The first time around, Haruka was doing these things too. Reading stuff online about pregnant women and what's the best diet and shit like that; he drove her insane. She supposed that was going to begin again.

"It won't be like that, though."

When he answers that, Takane can't help rolling her eyes, "You don't know that."

"Well, neither do you," he retorts, cheerfully. He takes a sip of his own drink, looking too confident. "So in the meantime, while we know nothing's wrong, we're doing things like we have to. For starters, you need to have a good breakfast."

It wasn't usual at all for Haruka to boss her around or anything. If he did it, it was because she was doing stupid things... she guessed that made this be one of those times.

Because unsurprisingly, he's right. As of now, she's– she's still pregnant. And if she wants to continue to be, and_ healthily,_ she's going to have to listen to him.

So, sighing in defeat, Takane only nods, to which Haruka beams at. He seemed in a good mood, at least. She wonders if she's going to allow herself to be, too.

"I'm– I'm surprised you haven't attacked any of the food yet..." she tries changing the subject. "You can start eating now, though. Don't worry about keeping up with me."

Haruka becomes serious all of a sudden, "Eh? No. This is all for you."

Takane smiles sweetly at him, "Excuse me?"

"Well, yeah!" he tells her. "You're eating for two, after all!"

(...)

"I don't see it."

"What?" Haruka steals a glance of the door, nervous. Takane could only huff; why was he checking if the doctor was going to come back? She stepped out like two seconds ago. Once he made sure she _wasn't_ coming back yet (of course she wasn't), Haruka points at the monitor, just like the doctor had done earlier, "Here, right?"

"It's still only a smudge! Wait– _"right?"_ You don't see it either, do you?" raising an eyebrow at him, Takane crosses her arms. Haruka sheepishly shrugs,

"Well, it's not... it's not gonna look exactly like a baby, is it?"

"What?" she snorts. "Then what are you expecting it to look like!?"

Haruka opens his mouth to argue, but then stares at the screen for a second, as if re-considering. He falls back on the chair next to her, and breathes out, _a lot_ more frustrated than her, "Oh, god. I can't see it either."

He sounded genuinely upset, so Takane didn't find it in her to make fun of him. She immediately puts a hand on his shoulder, though it was really awkward to touch him while she was laying on the stretcher with only a blanket covering her from the waist down, "Hey! We can just– ask her to point it out again!"

"What difference would it make?" Haruka pouts. "You're right, it's all smudges."

She'd try to insist, because she doesn't want to see him sad, but Takane can't help herself when she laughs, "RIGHT?! What's with that!?"

It was just funny that the doctor had left to "let them take it in" after seeing the baby together, but neither of them could actually see it at all. Haruka squints at the screen, "This is baloney."

Takane looks at her husband in shock, "Haruka, my! Language, please! Not in front of the baby!"

She was most obviously joking, but Haruka quickly covers his mouth, scandalized, "Oh, shoot, sorry! Oh, darn, I said shoot– _Oh, darn!_"

The doctor comes back in in the middle of Takane trying to recover her breath from laughing. Wow, that was quick. Maybe Haruka wasn't dumb to check, after all.

Takane presses her lips together, twitching slightly as she tries to suppress the laughter, while Haruka awkwardly cleared his throat and grabbed her hand again.

They're silent, but soon, the doctor sighs, "I overheard."

Takane, and she guesses that Haruka too, feels like the words stab her. She feels her entire face heat up. Oh, man, if this doctor didn't already think they were airheads, she surely was convinced now. That's embarrassing.

She simply smiled though, asking, "Would you like me to show you properly?"

"...Please and thank you," they speak at the same time, kind of ashamed. Takane thinks Haruka must be even more embarrassed because the doctor had probably also heard him "swearing" (that's swearing in his book, after all).

So the lady sits down, grabbing on the device again, and points at the screen once more. She brings a finger to it, and starts circling and pointing, "This is the head. These are the arms, and these are the legs–"

Haruka and Takane both tilt their heads to the side, both muttering "oooh" simultaneously. Personally, Takane couldn't see where the arms and the head were different. It seemed like a dark peanut with legs– which she guessed, was good! She saw legs!

She can't help smiling, somehow not haunted by the feeling of anxious uncertainty and of how everything could be lost again. For some reason, right now, there was no room for that in her mind. She can't even wonder why, because she's not thinking of it. All she can do is look over at Haruka, and he looks back at her with a smile of his own as well.

"Ohh, and she's sucking on her thumb!"

The doctor turns to look at them in delight, but it quickly goes away when she sees they don't mirror her expression. The woman looks back and forth in between them, trying to figure out what had she said to suddenly make them freeze up like that.

Soon enough, it hits her, and she nervously sputters out, "Oh, r – right. You said you didn't want to know the sex."

They robotically shake their heads, and the doctor breathes out, "My apologies."

Takane felt Haruka squeeze her hand, which brought her out of the shock. He offers another smile when she looks at him, but this time, she couldn't manage to send one back. It was too overwhelming.

Not that she cared about the sex of the baby– it was just that knowing it made everything feel so _real._ It was a dumb thought, she knew, especially since these last few days she's been actually feeling it (...her) move, fluttering around and kicking. She hasn't told Haruka about that, though. It was difficult to get used to this.

She's currently five months pregnant, and it feels like only now she started to realize she even is pregnant, which was ridiculous. She knew it was because of Haruka though; the fact that she's pregnant is now an active part of their everyday life. Honestly, she couldn't believe that a few weeks ago she spent entire days not even thinking about it.

What was she thinking, keeping it from him for so long?

So the situation is very overwhelming when she's only starting to allow reality to settle in within herself. She's a daughter, she's kicking, she has _legs._ It just felt like a lot, despite it sounded like it wasn't.

It's her own fault for putting the pregnancy on the sidelines for so long, really.

Takane sighed, her mind inevitably going back to the same spot.

If they lose the baby now, it's gonna be even worse than the first time. Because then, they'll know they lost a daughter.

She sighed, intending to tell the doctor it was fine and they should just move on, but Haruka speaks up, "We've had a miscarriage in the past."

Takane's head turns to him in a bolt, immediately fulminating him with an astonished glare. He refused to make eye contact, stubbornly looking at the doctor instead, who was obviously taken back by the statement.

"Oh," she says. "I'm– I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Ah, thank you, but– you see, the reason I'm bringing it up is because..." Haruka smiles, and puts an arm around Takane, as if to make her the center of attention. Takane groans, bringing a hand up to massage the bridge of her nose. "Since that happened the first time, my wife is really anxious, and knowing the sex is going to surely mess with her head a lot. She feels that by even talking about the baby we'll jinx it and it's gonna happen again."

Takane immediately opens her mouth to argue, because there's _no way_ for him to know she feels that way, because she _hasn't told him,_ but she can't. Because Haruka is right. Who is surprised about that? Absolutely no one.

She simply looks away, embarrassed that Haruka's telling something so personal to a complete stranger. They haven't even told their actual friends about it back then. About neither; the pregnancy nor the miscarriage. No one but themselves knew, and Takane wanted to keep it that way.

The thought makes Takane realize they haven't even told them they're expecting _now._ Oh, jeez. Now that's gonna be a ride.

On the other hand, the doctor nods to everything Haruka says, starting to smile as he carried on like she has heard these things a million times. And really, she probably has. "Well, it's completely normal for you to feel this way!"

She's speaking to Takane specifically, something that made her want to melt into the stretcher. She started to rant about how it was expected, and how she simply has to take one day at a time, blah, blah, blah. As soon as they get out of the hospital, Haruka's going to be having some very strong words from her, for having submitted her to this boring speech of things she already told herself on a daily basis.

However, when the doctor makes sure to mention, "As of now, everything seems to be going really well! All your symptoms are normal, the baby is a healthy size, the development seems to be going super smoothly–"

And then went back to spiritual talks, but that tiny bit was everything Takane wanted to hear. She immediately looks back at Haruka, and he was grinning at her, because... well, he _knew_ that's what she wanted to hear.

Haruka doesn't have any strong words said to him, in the end.

Out of their friends, the first person to know about the pregnancy is Shintaro.

How could he not be, when he spends every second of his life inside their apartment, like a parasite? To be honest, the only reason he hadn't figured it out earlier was because in spite of their coexistence in the same place, Shintaro barely spends time with them.

He was too busy being online or being miserable by himself. No matter how much they asked, Shintaro would never speak of his feelings or anything. And, well, after this last month, they barely even tried anymore. One, because it seemed to have no point and two, they're busy being pregnant.

However, after Shintaro pulls and all nighter and actually has breakfast with them in the morning, he seems to be a bit more observative.

First of all, Haruka slaps his hand away when he tries grabbing an almond from her plate.

"Ouch! What the hell, dude?" Shintaro whines, bringing his hand to his chest. Haruka frowns,

"That's for Takane!"

Takane rolled her eyes; Haruka was super annoying when it came to meals now. He makes _so_ much food, it was gross. Of course she never ate the amount he insists, but she does try a bit of everything only to shut him up. She'd complain that it's a waste, but really, Haruka eats every last bit of a leftover.

She knows he means well, but she can't say she loves when Haruka brings her water every sixty minutes so she stays hydrated. She can't even escape when she's at work; he'll obviously text her. It gets very annoying.

Though it_ was_ funny to see Haruka slapping Shintaro's greasy hands from their food. Takane snickers sardonically, and Shintaro hmph's.

"Jesus, do you guys _always_ eat this much for breakfast?" he simply questioned, looking at the amount of food with certain disgust. "Takane, you really eat this much? I bet your portion weighs more than your entire body."

"Yes, I eat every last piece," she lies, throwing in her mouth the almond he intended to grab earlier. She chews with a snarky smile, and Shintaro crosses his arms.

"Oh, it's not usual," Haruka, ever the dumbass, says. Takane immediately shoots him a glare, but he doesn't seem to get it. "It's only for now. Takane needs to be well fed!"

"Um, why?" Shintaro snorts, and the question is what makes Haruka realize his slip up. This time he looks at his wife, alarmed. Takane clicks her tongue in annoyment,

"No particular reason."

Shintaro, luckily, seemed to not care at all, so despite he thought they were being weird, he moves on.

Breakfast continued uneventfully, and to be honest, Takane didn't even think of the possibility of telling Shintaro yet. Really, Haruka and her haven't even discussed about when they're telling everyone else.

As of now, it felt good like this. It didn't feel like a secret or anything, and it's not like they were making any effort in actively hiding it, either. Well, that must be because they barely even see the Dan, anyway. Everyone's so busy with their own thing that it was sort of difficult to meet up, and if they did, they weren't all at once.

Ironically, the last time they were all in the same place at the same time was at Seto and Mary's wedding, which also happened to be when she found out.

So, for the moment, Haruka and her were very comfortable keeping it to themselves. Not to mention that– if something went wrong, they wouldn't have to be telling everyone about it. It was like saving themselves the effort.

Nevertheless, as they continued to calmly go through the start of the day, Shintaro decides to start a conversation, "So you guys are buying a house?"

Takane doesn't have time to see the way Haruka reacts, because she's busy trying not to choke on her drink. She coughs up, and sees how Haruka was looking at her in a panic. Oh, boy. Just what the hell.

She shakes her head, not to say no, but to say _"what",_ "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I overheard you talking about it last night," Shintaro casually says, succesfully having stolen an almond now. Haruka and Takane glance at each other,

"Oh," Haruka goes, and Takane bites her lip. If Shintaro was able to overhear their conversation last night, then that meant he must've overheard other conversations as well. Like, _pregnancy_ related conversations. She doesn't think they mentioned it bluntly when talking about buying a house, though. "So– um, what else have you heard, then?"

Much to their relief, Shintaro only blinks at him, as if he wasn't sure what he meant. Good.

But then his face clears up, and he starts rubbing the back of his neck in slight nervousness, "Well... yeah, I guess there's this other thing."

Oh, what a rollercoaster. The panic was back even before the relief could settle in. Waiting for Shintaro to speak, she winces as if she was about to take a punch. Shintaro starts,

"Can you like, not be so freaking loud during sex? I swear to god, that shit sounds straight up like porn. Especially you, Takane, you got a_ real_ big volume problem–"

Before Takane could crawl over the table to reach for Shintaro's neck and snap it in half, Haruka cuts in (and also has to physically interject, by putting his arm in front of Takane), "W – WELL! We'll look into that! So, um, nothing else?"

"No? Nothing else?" Shintaro shakes his head in confusion, ignoring the way Takane basically hissed at him. "All I've ever heard is sex noises and talks about houses. Why?"

Haruka and Takane immediately shake their heads, in a very non suspicious way, "No! No reason!"

They forced out laughs that maybe lasted a bit too long, just to make it _extra_ convincing. However, their remarkable acting only seemed to make Shintaro doubtful. He was now squinting at them, clearly aware that something was up.

Eventually, he just nods with his lower lip protruded into a pout, "Huh. Special breakfast that requires for Takane to be well fed, Haruka fussing over her, talking about a house– Kinda interesting, isn't it? Any news you'd like to tell your dear friend, Kokonose marriage?"

He spoke with that smug voice that gives Takane the urge of shaking him until that big brain of his started rattling inside his skull (especially since she was also still angry about his stupid comment from earlier, about her having a volume problem). But since she has to be "civilized" and "calm", she doesn't. She has to settle with glaring and clenching her teeth.

Pleased with himself, Shintaro simply took a sip of his tea. Haruka and Takane look at each other, as if silently deciding who was gonna talk, whilst their friend watched them with amusement. Alright then.

It's Takane who speaks, "...Fine, yeah. We're expecting."

Shintaro chokes with the tea. He starts hitting his chest with his fist, coughing up violently, "WH – WHAT!?"

He spoke in between coughs, and he had placed the cup down so quickly that now it had a drop streaming down the side. Obviously, shocked with the reaction, Haruka worriedly starts patting his back, "A – are you okay!?"

"What the hell, dude!" Takane exclaims. "You were clearly hinting you knew!"

"Yeah, but I was just teasing! I was only half-sure!" Shintaro argues, apparently recovered already. He gestures to Haruka he's fine, and now points an accusing finger at Takane, "Holy shit though! You're pregnant!?"

Upon finding out their best friends are expecting, most people would congratulate them, right? Well, not Shintaro (though it's no surprise that he doesn't qualify as "most people").

"Wait– seriously, _holy shit,_" Shintaro repeated, in case it wasn't clear enough that "holy shit." "How far along are you? Does the Dan know? Was this planned?"

Takane winces at the amount of questions she didn't want to talk about. She crossed her arms, and despite her reluctance, she guessed it was only fair to answer, "No, it wasn't planned–"

Shintaro softly elbows Haruka, immediately cackling, "You knocked her up!"

Haruka smiles awkwardly, and Takane only groans again, "You're such a jerk, Shintaro."

"W – _well,"_ Haruka takes over after Takane decides she doesn't wanna talk because Shintaro is an immature asshole who won't take things seriously. "No, the Dan doesn't know yet, _and_ she's twenty one weeks in!"

He doesn't laugh with this answer, bug-eyed, "Wait, really? I'm the first one you're telling?"

"We did not tell you. You made us think you figured it out and we told you."

"_Still,"_ Shintaro smiled, apparently done making fun of the situation. He leaned closer, looking in between them with a grin. Well, he seemed to be really happy to be the first to know... Suddenly though, the grin is gone and he goes back to looking freaked out, "Wait, fuck, _twenty one weeks?_ Um, that's a whole fucking lot of weeks."

Uncomfortable with the remark, Haruka and Takane can't bring themselves to answer. Fortunately, it didn't seem to bother Shintaro that much, as he was hit with other realizations.

"God," he pauses, like he was still taking it all in. "I don't know why I'm even surprised. I mean, this was going to happen eventually, anyway."

He laughs, and doesn't notice their melancholy over his comment as he starts showering them with even more questions.

(...)

"Haruka?" Takane shakes his body, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Hey, Haruka–"

At the second calling, he immediately turns around in a sleepy haze. As he goes, "what, what" trying to wake himself up, she quickly regrets having woken him up at all, especially for something so stupid, but there was no backing down now. But when Haruka seems to actually gain all his senses, he suddenly shoots up, now sitting next to her in bed.

"Is – is there something wrong?" he asks, for some reason moving all the blankets and taking them off of her. That was really annoying, but before she could ask why the hell he was doing that, he goes, "A – are you bleeding?"

The realization of what Haruka thought happened hits her with guilt and, guess what, even more regret. She starts shaking her head, gently grabbing on his hand as she says, "N – no, no, I'm not. Don't worry."

Haruka was probably still half asleep, because it takes him a second to stop searching around and process her words. In relief, he breathes out, "Oh..."

"S – sorry for scaring you..."

She speaks with a bitter taste in her mouth. What was she thinking, waking him up like that? It was exactly like that one night. Of course he was going to freak out. She's such an idiot.

"Then, what's wrong?" Haruka inquires, obviously not noticing her inner self deprecation. "Are you hungry? I can make you something–"

He was already taking the covers off of him, which Takane quickly says no to. God, was he really willing to simply get up and start cooking for her? Just like that, after she woke him up and gave him a horrible scare?

Since she had said no already, Haruka only watched her expectantly. However, Takane could only look away, inanely embarrassed by the actual reason she had woken him up.

She's been beating herself up with the subject to the point she couldn't sleep and had to wake him up, so she really shouldn't be acting all shy and stupid. Takane tightens the hold of his hand, and her mind flies around the idea of simply moving it up to her belly, but she can't bring herself to. She limits herself with words, "Sh – she's moving around a lot... kicking and stuff... do... do you wanna feel?"

Haruka looks at her, unblinking. Takane refuses to meet his eye, knowing how ridiculous this was. She was almost expecting him to say "_that's_ what you woke me up for?" but of course, that's absolutely not what he says.

Instead, he offers a somewhat shaky smile. He glances down to her belly and then back up at her, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Because this was the first time she was asking him to feel a kick.

She didn't know why, but it was always super nerve-wrecking, and she could never bring herself to tell him "oh, hey, the baby's kicking!". Like every other thing, it felt like jinxing things. She guessed Haruka knew she felt the kicks, it'd be an issue if she didn't at this point, but he had respected her space and hasn't brought it up even once. That's why she's not really surprised to see him this overjoyed.

She'd be lying if she were to say she doesn't fall asleep with a smile on her face, as Haruka caresses her stomach.

(...)

Seto is the one to open the door for them, and he jumps back, surprised, before the shock transforms into a laugh.

"Oh!" he goes, like that explained anything. "Funny, guys."

At the door of Mary's house (which was now Seto's as well), Haruka and Takane only looked at each other with raised eyebrows, confused by their friend's behaviour.

Shintaro, also at the door with them because _of course_ he got a ride from Haruka and Takane, pushes in between them to go inside, "Hey, Seto, how's it going? Man, I'm starving."

Seto moves aside to let him in, "Come in, then! We made loads of food, especially Tsubomi. Go crazy."

As Shintaro rushed in faster than before, fist bumping the air with excitement towards the news of Kido cooking. Meanwhile, Seto still looked at them with a grin, gesturing to Takane amusedly, "That's amazing. It looks so believable! I'm sure you'll be able to fool everyone!"

They stare at him, not quite sure what he meant, but then Takane looks down to her big belly. She glances at Haruka with confusion, an expression he mirrored, before looking back at Seto, "Um, sorry?"

"The pregnant belly!" Seto says. "It looks super real!"

Perplexed, Takane says, "That's... because it is?"

Seto's face doesn't change; he doesn't even freeze up. He only looks at her, clearly still believing it was a joke. When her honest face doesn't budge, he looks at Haruka. Obviously, Haruka was the same, and _that's_ when Seto becomes slack-jawed. Before they could even start asking him questions, Seto starts to rapidly nod, his eyes dark and puzzled as he moved aside to let them in, "Oh."

Albeit _clearly_ weirded out, Haruka and Takane do come in, with Seto closing the door behind them. Conveniently, they were the last ones to arrive, so everyone was already being noisy as hell. When the Dan is all gathered, it reminds her of the short period of time she lived at the hideout, where pretty much everyday consisted of this chaotic and loud environment.

Hibiya and Momo were fighting. Mary was sweeping something broken on the floor as Kano apologized about it in between laughs. Kido tried to focus on simultaneously nagging at Kano and trying to get Hibiya and Momo to stop.

But when they walk into the room where everyone was, a rare occurrance descends: they all go silent. Except Shintaro, who was busy stuffing his face with Kido's food. He looked around, pretty confused with the pause of activities.

They were all looking at her, so Takane felt like she had enough evidence to pinpoint the problem.

"D – did..." she gulps, already knowing the answer to the question. "Did we forget to tell you?"

The Mekakushi Dan goes batshit insane in approximately one second.

Suddenly, too many hands were lunging towards her, and there was no way to stop it, even if Haruka tried. She didn't even know who was touching her stomach, but oh, hands were there alright. She felt a hand in her hair as well, for some reason. They all spoke at the same time, and if she wasn't mistaken, she even heard Mary crying and a camera snapping pictures (that was probably Kano).

Kido asked perfectly sensible and fair questions, though that didn't make sense if Momo made the same questions, only with a louder voice. Hibiya did that too. And Seto. And– well, let's just say everyone was asking questions and yelling, while making sure to continue exclaiming their excitement at the same time.

"Since when!? How far along are you!?"

"Do not be surprised if I start crying."

"Do you know the sex!?"

"How _dare_ you keep this from us!"

"Do you have a name already!?"

"This is too much– I didn't prepare myself mentally–"

Of course Takane couldn't answer any of that. It sounded like complete nonsense to her overwhelmed state.

It was a genuine mystery how they all manage to hear the same thing in the absolute disaster the living room had became, because all of a sudden, the incoherent questions transform into an excited patter that had_ one_ term in common: baby shower.

"Wait!" Kido, seemingly the only calm one, somehow gains some order by yelling that word. Why didn't she say it sooner, then!? Surprisingly, she's not using the moment to ask anything to Haruka and Takane, nor did anyone else. In fact, they completely ignored them. "Organizing something like that is impossible to do in one day!"

"Okay, sis, we totally hear you, but also, we're totally going to ignore you," Kano points out, to which Kido visibly gets mad at. Before she could say anything about it though, Momo takes the floor,

"Yeah! We'll just go do everything now!"

Hibiya rolled his eyes, "Do you even know how baby showers work?"

Momo nervously places a finger on her chin, "Uuum! We decorate everything and then we fuss over a pregnant lady!"

"Well, that's _kind of_ it," Hibiya sighs. "But the point of a baby shower is more on the... giving gifts side."

Everyone gasps at the same time, immediately cursing at themselves for not buying gifts. That was... ridiculous, since they _didn't know_ and also, _what the heck, when did this meet up turn into a baby shower?_

"You're right!" Mary exclaimed, the tears of excitement still evident on her cheeks. "We need to buy gifts!"

"WE DO!"

"I'll go buy the decorations, too!"

"I'll stay here and check all the food is pregnant friendly..."

"I'll go buy a cake!"

And just like that, the room is suddenly empty.

"I..." Takane speaks up, already crushingly tired. "I thought you had told them."

Haruka shakes his head, also staring into nothingness, "I thought _you_ had told them."

Though, those weren't excuses. They are just really, really stupid people who showed up seven months into the pregnancy, to all of their unaware friends.

Before they could collapse on each other though, Kano comes running from one of the rooms, saying, "Forgot my wallet!"

They nod, expecting him to quickly try to catch up with the rest to get a ride back to town, but he stops in front of them.

"So," he starts, taking out his credit card. "How much do I have to pay for you to call your kid Shuuya?"

"It's a girl."

"Shuyette then."

"Beat it, Kano."

* * *

They're twenty six years old when their daughter is born on April 2nd.

Her due date was on _May_ 2nd, but whatever, since it seemed like the little missy did whatever the hell she wanted this early in her life. However, despite Takane had one of the most stressful days of her life, where she thought she was giving birth prematurely and yadda yadda, she couldn't bring herself to be mad at the her. Because...

"She's too small," Takane sobbed, whining when the baby curls her tiny hand around her finger. She's so ugly. "She's like a miniature human, Haruka."

"That's... quite literally what she is, honey."

Haruka was sitting next to her on the hospital bed, with an arm wrapped around her. He kept booping the baby's nose with his finger. Though, he already had his time holding her, so fuck off.

Takane had passed out right after the birth and had only woken up, so their daughter is around four hours old and she's holding her just now. Well, technically she was placed on her chest as soon as she got out, but Takane only had time to react to the baby's ugliness before everything went black.

"Wh – why are you still crying?" Haruka asks her, slightly amused. In between tears and whimpers, Takane can only handle to show him her middle finger. He gasps, and puts it down, "No! Not in front of the baby, Takane! Oh, wait! Should I start calling you mommy so she gets used to it?"

"If you start calling me mommy I'm going to kill you," she weeps, her voice snotty. Really, she didn't know why she couldn't stop crying. ...It must be hormones or whatever.

She hears Haruka mutter a giggle, but she kept her eyes on their daughter. God, their daughter. They have a daughter.

She was already born with a mop of black hair, and she had her eyes open, which doesn't help with Takane's serious case of "I cannot stop sobbing." She has the same eye color as her. Oh, god, she's so small. She can't protect something this small. Takane whines out a sob again, Haruka patting her back.

As far as she knew, their friends were on their way. Shintaro was actually the one who drove her to the hospital, and had left to rest while she was still asleep. She didn't find it in her to think he was a jerk for it; he was kind of great today. She knows how difficult these situations are for him, and he handled it pretty well.

Though, as for themselves, she couldn't wait to be home. She sniffs, finally feeling herself smile, looking down at the little tadpole in her arms. Haruka, laying his head on hers, softly asks, "What are you thinking of?"

"That's she's ugly," she says again, to which Haruka quickly complains about, but then she adds, "And how I made this entire human by myself."

"Heeey..." Haruka complained again. "At least give me like, 2% of the credit."

"No. All you did was–"

"OKAY, FAIR. J – just don't say inappropiate things in front of... um, the baby!" he says, evidently getting stuck at the moment he was supposed to say her name. Well, of course. She didn't have a name, after all. Before Takane could point it out, Haruka does it for her, "I used to have a list of baby names when we were younger."

"I know. Shintaro told me."

Haruka gasps, "Traitor."

Rolling her eyes, Takane laughed. She wiped her tears from her face, carefully, because she felt like every movement she made could potentionally make the baby explode. ...Okay, yeah, it_ was_ getting a bit annoying to simply call her "the baby."

"I know we didn't want to discuss it because we didn't want to... "jinx" it," Haruka starts, his voice taking over a more serious tone now. Takane nods. "But, um, it's kind of late now, don't you think? Look who's here!"

He points at the shrimp, because Takane thinks she looks like shrimp, who has been simply staring at them for the past hour. Studying them and getting to know them. Takane hums, "She looks like a shrimp."

"She does not! Stop! She's cute!" he whines, and she simply laughs. "Anyhow, have you thought of anything during all this time?

"Wh–" Takane turns to him, slightly nervous. "Why put me on the spot like that? Didn't you have an entire list of baby names? You must've thought of a hundred names!"

"That's the problem," he winces. "I read way too many names so now I don't like any of them. But hey! We could always name her–"

"We aren't naming her Ene."

"I was going to say Shuyette, but that's a nice throwback."

Takane lets out a cackle, promptly startling the baby. She doesn't cry, and she simply trembled on a reflex, but it startles Haruka and Takane back. And it did so enough to shut them up.

It's quiet, and comfortable, and somehow, Takane didn't really want the moment to end. She knows she was just thinking of how much she wanted to be home, and really, she still does, but... Would it be too much to ask, to simply stay in this little bubble with her family for a bit longer?

She glances over at Haruka, and upon feeling her eyes on him, he shifts his attention from their daughter to her. Somehow, it all felt so bizarre. That Haruka got to come back, they got to be in a relationship, get married, start a family.

He pecks her on the lips, and she'd make a joke about how this is the first of many kisses the shrimp is gonna have to put up with if she wasn't so submerged in the moment. She looks back down at her, "It's spring."

She feels Haruka's head move up and down in a nod next to hers, "It is! She's a spring lady."

"...W – _well_," she starts, feeling her face inanely heat up. She's obviously going to blush now that she's going to say something she's been thinking for a while now. "_Your_ name means spring."

"It does, indeed," Haruka agrees, clearly not understanding the relation of that fact to the current situation. Takane sighed; of course he didn't get it.

"Well... um, since your name means spring, and you were born in the winter... and now she was born in the _spring..._ Errr, maybe, we can name her after..."

"...Winter?"

Takane nods shyly. God, that's such a ridiculous idea, why did she even say it? It's so silly.

But then, Haruka's nuzzling on the crook of her neck, sighing out, "You're really the sweetest person ever, aren't you?"

They name their daughter Fuyuha.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it all the way down here, thank you for reading!


End file.
